Here we’re again for another round of Friday Fictioneers! I hope you will enjoy reading my story. Let the fiction madness begin! Let me also mention that I’m open to constructive criticism.
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“Can you believe this twat? He goes around saying life is predetermined.”
Baldwin was talking loud and vulgar, and constantly banging the table. His friends had no idea he’d go that far.
“Stop with that nonsense, will ya?” – The old chap was appalled by Baldwin’s behavior. Rumor had it, the old chap once composed a symphony so powerful that he created havoc with it.
“You got problem, you old fellah? Aren’t you a mere dancer to the music of the mysterious?” Baldwin yelled.
“I’m sorry mom.” – The old chap mumbled and continued – “so you really wanna know?”
Baldwin proudly collected dollar bills under the table. They thought they’re in for juicy details.
***Photo Prompt***
Words 
Loved that you used the word twat right out of the gate. It makes that rumor come to life. Flash fiction seems to be stealing my heart 🙂
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Yeah! I am amazed by how many good stories are being written week in and week out! Thanks for the feedback Susannah!
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It was a pleasure. Really!
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I’m old and don’t “get” it. Oh well, I had fun reading it and every ones replies. Good job! Nan
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Dear Santosh,
Your story has everyone taking the bait. Nice arrangement.
Aloha,
Doug
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It seems so 🙂 Thanks for visiting Doug!
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And the old guy takes the bait. I wish I could see the part of the scene where he spills the beans.
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Betting seems to always be really “dicey”!
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It’s intriguing to see the half-alien baby now as an old fellow. As intended, the rest is unclear. Great voices, though.
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Thanks gahlearner! I m happy that you got what i intended (it turns out many didn’t)! Thanks for reading and commenting! Appreciate it!
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Thanks, but I’m not so smart, I read your replies to others’ comments. 🙂
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I clicked on the link back to ‘mom’ and decided the old fellah was the alien baby of your previous story and that he has knowledge of an advanced alien technology that enabled him to create the symphony that caused havoc. Just throw me a couple of words and I’ll chew on them until I get a story from them. I don’t ask much of an author. 🙂
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Your comment made me really really happy! Thanks a lot! You got exactly where I was aiming to get my readers to! The only thing that’s not in the story is that the old guy has kept it all secret until this day and is now about to open up!
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I look forward to the next instalment. I’ve never seen this ‘device’ used before in online fiction. I might steal it from you. It’s a bit Lorentzian: “Can a character in a previous story, at a younger age, cause an event in another story, at an older age. 🙂
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Isn’t it great.. eavesdropping on fragments you can put it into any potential narrative.. but I guess it won’t end well.
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I totally agree with you on this one Björn! Thanks for your feedback!
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I wonder what the bet will be? I could clearly picture the scene and hear their voices.
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I’m with Mick on this one… The characters are coming through – great voices, but I haven’t a clue what’s going on.
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Thanks for the feedback! I agree with you on this one! I ll be selfish and keep this one only for me 🙂
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I, too, am really curious about the rumor!
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Didn’t see that ‘bet’ coming….nice story
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Ah, Baldwin running an act, playing the ‘goad’. Nicely done. I’ve REALLY curious about what that rumour is though. 🙂
Cheers
KT
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I have a soft spot for profane elders.
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Probably me being dumb: I don’t think I understand the “plot”.
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No sir, you aren’t! This is a perfectly broken piece, and that’s how i intend to leave it for this week (unless i go crazy again :))! Thanks for the feedback!
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